"A Third Culture Kid (TCK) is a person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside the parents' culture. The TCK builds relationships to all of the cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Although elements from each culture are assimilated into a TCK's life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of similar background" Pollock, David & Van Reken, Ruth, Third Culture Kids, The Experience of Growing Up Among Worlds. Boston/London: Nicolas Brealey Publishing, p. 19.

Below is a letter from one of these TCKs to a family considering coming back to U.S. for the sake of the children. This TCK gave me permission to place this on my blog and also gave me permission to allow her name and phone number to appear, so that if you have questions about raising children elsewhere, she might be helpful to you.

Hey, I’m Kris Bowen, daughter of Mark and Debbie Hooper. I understand that you are having some inner-struggle on raising children in a foreign culture. I wanted to give you the perspective of one of those children! As you might know, my parents moved our family to India when I was 4 months old. We lived there for five years. I have NEVER regretted their decision. In fact, I have always felt incredibly blessed to have been able to experience a different culture, and often wish we could have been there longer, so that I could have experienced it when I was a little older as well. It is true that I was not able to be close to my grandparents, aunts and uncles, but the people there became my family and I never felt deprived in any way. Since I was so young, this was just how life was. I didn’t feel like I was weird or that something was missing from my life. When we moved back to the States, it was definitely something that set me apart, but never in a bad way. And aren’t Kingdom children supposed to be “set apart” anyway? I always felt cool, because I had lived in a foreign country when many of the children that I went to school with had never even left the state of Tennessee. I feel like I matured a lot faster than my peers as well, because I had experienced so much. Now that I am older (24 now), I am still so thankful for the experience. It has helped me in my chosen profession of social work and just in life in general, to be able to relate to people better, especially those that are here in the States that come from a different culture. And it sure didn’t hurt when I was looking for a job! I have experienced life in a totally different way than the “norm” and it has changed who I am (or I guess who I would have been), but I think I’m a better person for it. In fact, sometimes I forget that this is not how everyone’s life is! I am married now to a wonderful man, and we plan to move overseas to do our Father’s work. And I have no apprehensions of having/raising children in the same manner in which I was raised. I feel so “lucky” to have experienced what I have and I wouldn’t trade it for any amount of “normalcy”!


Kris Bowen, BSW
Infant Adoption Training Specialist

111 Racine Street
Memphis, TN 38111
(901) 634-8199 (office)
(901) 323-3640 (fax)


While there might be disadvantages in growing up in a cross-cultural environment, Clyde Austin, Ph.D. compiled a list of advantages which I have copied below. I would like to add, that I've never spoken to someone who, though s/he might be struggling with U.S. life, would ever trade their cross-cultural life experiences for a mono-cultural identity.

Advantages of Being a Missionary Child or TCK
Clyde N. Austin, Ph.D.

Social
* family becomes a major social supportive agent; develop closer ties to family; more individual attention and time spent together as a family (Harrell, p.3)
* “enriched and strengthened from roots in different soils”
* oriented to involvement in social and community service
* forced to “grow up”
* meet a lot of people
* see people working at the “gut level”
* learn not to stereotype
* able to handle adjustment problems
* “never a dull moment”
* slower pace
* less complex life

Spiritual
* achieve a “sense of mission”; develop a sense of pride in helping in the work
* Christ-centered home
* know all about mission work
* spiritual bond with parents
* spiritual & mental maturity
* fellowship of missionaries
* proud that parents were presenting the Gospel

Educational
* academic curriculum for college-bound student frequently excellent (Harrell, p.5)
* learning enrichment in host country
* cultural exchange
* second language
* understand and relate to diversity
* broader educational experiences
* boarding school a good prerequisite for college
* independence of thought
* better prepared for study in US
* enjoyed closeness of school on mission field
* become more open-minded
* firsthand study of a different culture
* often superior to US (Harrell, p.2)
* base setting a good place to encourage creativity and flexibility among students (Harrell, p.5)

Worldview
* widened horizons
* “On the general level, ‘expatriates’…gain a separate identity of their own, irrespective of their nationality”
* clearer perspective in world affairs
* enlarged world view
* another perspective on life & values; compare with home
* “Grew up as an international citizen instead of an ultra-patriotic nation-worshipper…”
* become aware of privileges in USA
* objectivity: Can step back and look at American life without many biases that US residents have
* “Getting to know the cultures as they are instead of how America portrays them”
* the opportunity to know other cultures personally compensates for leaving the US (Harrell, p.2)

Friends
* learn to accept new friends with different backgrounds
* varied contacts with many interesting people leads to broader scope of friendships
* being creative at play

Climate
* freedom of outdoor life
* beauty and climate of another culture
* a lot of outdoors time

Travel
* diverse traveling experiences
* variety of adventures

Other
* new and interesting animals
* being “special” because I lived elsewhere
* realize that being “different” is okay (Harrell, p.3)

This is the day the Lord has made
Let us rejoice and be glad in it! (Psalm 118:4)