Life does not accommodate you,
it shatters you...
Every seed destroys its container or else
there would be no fruition.
Florida Scott-Maxwell


Thanks to Nancy Hartman's (good friend at OC) recommendation I have begun reading a new series of books by William Bridges, who has authored several books on transitions with business applications. I'm reading two of his more generic books: 1) Transitions and 2) The Way of Transition: Embracing Life's Most Difficult Moments. There are so many ways to apply Bridges' material to the missionary experience, for what is the missionary's life but one transition after another. Bridges wrote The Way of Transition after the death of his wife.

As a person who has taught many a course over the last 20 years on human development, Bridges' statement that the stages in our lives are just the resting places between transitions rang so true to me. The transitions are where we develop our character. This has been true for me personally. I suppose some of my bigger transitions, besides marriage and motherhood, and the empty nest, were entry into a new culture and going through the frustration of what is called culture shock, only to find that reentry to my "home" culture was 10 times more difficult than entry into my "host" country had ever been. I suppose the hardest transition for me was the death of my son. That sent me on a God-hunt that has basically formed who I am today. I had eleven years to get ready for the death of my husband. In a sense mourning took place almost every day. Will this be his last birthday? Will this be our last anniversary? Will this be our last vacation? After Tom's death there really was no more, but I didn't go into the deep depression like I did when Paul was killed. I wondered why. I've basically come to the conclusion that God had already broken me. He didn't need to break me any more. Also, I had formed a pretty good theology of suffering. I had learned to be thankful - even for the smallest blessing. I appreciated every moment I had with Tom. What also helped was that Tom never stopped being a spiritual leader to me, whether by word or example. I was exceedingly blessed to be his wife.

Missionary transitions have everything to do with relationships - with being connected. Until we traverse "entry" into a new culture and "reentry" into our "home" culture, we are people estranged from others who think like we think, feel like we feel, dream what we dream and affirm what we affirm. For those non-missionaries reading this and wondering "what's the big deal" go to TCKWorld.com and read the story of Mr. Round Head. That might help a little bit.

Transitions make us form/transform our identity. That identity will be uniquely yours as mine is uniquely mine, but those who have been through the same transitions, identify with each other, regardless of how different we are from each other. I recommend William Bridges' books to you.