Today would have been my wedding anniversary. On our 40th anniversary around 3 in the afternoon, I remember thinking I'd like to have a party, so sent out a voice mail to all the faculty and staff that they should come by and bring one dinner from the Chinese restaurant to share with everybody else. I think about 70 people showed up. We had containers of Chinese food everywhere. What special times those were! Our children made a big deal out of our 41st wedding anniversary - they knew there might not be any more. It was held in my daughter's house in The Netherlands and all our children and some very special friends were there. Rachel and my other daughter, Reba, had schemed for months on how they were going to pull this off without letting us know. Reba had one suitcase filled with party paraphenalia that she brought from the states for this special occasion. They were successful. It was a total surprise. Rachel's mother-in-law fixed a cake with special candles that when lit acted like sparklers. Special memories. Special children. God has been so good to me!

When our kids were growing up we celebrated every American and every Dutch holiday. We always had some kind of special meal. We carved a jack-o-lantern out of a green melon at Halloween - at that time we didn't have pumpkins in Holland. I remember making boiled eggs look like little toadstools with a tomato end plopped over the top dotted with mayonaise. I may have had more fun than the kids! Traditions hold families together. Delores Curran, author of Traits of a Healthy Family, states that the healthy family has a strong sense of family in which rituals and traditions abound (p. 199). Some of the hallmarks are 1)the family treasures its legends and characters; 2) the family has a person and/or place that serves as a locus; 3) the family makes a conscious effort to gather as a people; 4)the family views itself as a link between the past and the future; and 6) the family cherishes its traditions and rituals (p 216).

Missionary families who are more mobile than most and who do not intend to stay forever in the land of their chosen country, need to take special care that they establish a strong sense of family. Establish traditions that can be carried on anywhere. Like the children of Israel, we need markers of remembrance to give us hope. When my son died, what held us together was remembering the special times we celebrated together. We found ourselves laughing and crying remembering special times. "Hope is what we need so badly, and hope is based in the memory. Rituals do so much to feed the hope through memory. And hope is the travel virtue - it gets us from yesterday into today and gives us the courage to face tomorrow. Rituals and traditions are much more than words. They give those who participate in them an opportunity to say nonverbally, "I love you. I like being with you. I want to reenact what's important in life with you because you are important to me" (p. 211, 212).